I haven’t posted to my blog for awhile, but there has been a lot going on in my life. I’m sorry that I haven’t been around, but I am happy to be getting back on track.
Last April I found out that I was pregnant. If you’ve read my old post then you know that I had been trying to have another baby for several years. So while I was very excited to be pregnant, I was very nervous that I would experience another miscarriage. And then the morning sickness kicked in.
For some reason, my body just does not handle pregnancy very well. I get a little jealous when I watch that TLC show I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. I won’t go in to a lot of detail (because I’m sure you don’t really want to hear about it) but I became almost useless. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband for those first few months.
Just before I finally started to feel a little better, my Mom got extremely sick. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital after collapsing on her kitchen floor. After hours in the ER and a battery of tests and bloodwork, she was moved to the ICU. While in the ICU her heart stopped and it took them 10 minutes to revive her. It took a few days for me to realize how bad her situation was. She fought really hard for two weeks, but there had been too much damage because of the amount of time that she didn’t have oxygen.
She passed away on June 30th.
Losing my Mom while I was pregnant was definitely one of the hardest things I have experienced in my life. My mom was such a wonderful Grandmother! I was pretty rough on my Mom as a teenager, but our relationship had really improved, especially since Carter was born.
The closer it got to my due date, the more I missed my Mom. Unfortunately my grief caused me to pull back. I pretty much just let everything that I was working on drop and I want to apologize to all of the people that I let down.
My son Lincoln was born on December 1st. He has been such a wonderful baby!
It was really hard at first, looking at this precious little baby, knowing he would never know how wonderful his Grandma was. Driving home from the hospital, it felt like we should turn on the road that would take us to my parents house to bring the baby to see my Mom. I couldn’t help but be sad as we drove past the road. Just after we passed the road, we passed the cemetary where my Mom was buried. I’m sure I will never forget how hard it hit me in that moment.
In January I started trying to figure out how to get myself back on the right path. I was overwhelmed by how out of touch I was from my blog and my business. It is amazing how quickly time has passed in the last year. I have been trying to figure out where I want to pick back up and what I want to focus on going forward.
My perspective has changed a lot over the last year. I don’t want to go back to the crazy schedule that I had before, where all of my free time went into building my business. With the new baby I can’t do that. I feel like my direction is a little different now as well. My heart just isn’t in some of the things that I was working on before.
So bear with me for a little while. I am going to be doing a major renovation on my blog. It will take me awhile to get things set up, but I am really excited about the direction I am headed in now.
I am really looking forward to connecting with everyone again and to making new friends!
Come back soon!